The Rope That Holds Me Back

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This morning I volunteered to sit for an intuitive-in-training, and I thought I’d share my experience to inspire you, or at the very least to entertain you.

My question for her was this: I want to be a Snow Bird by January 2016. I want to live in Chicago during the warmer months, and then “fly south” for the winter. I want to know what I can change now to ensure that I meet this goal for myself next year.

Honestly, I was hoping for an answer related to my business. I expected her to highlight what I needed to change within my business model in order to be super successful so that I can in fact be a Snow Bird without carrying any financial stress.

Instead, her response was this: “You are loyal to a fault.”

Say what? What the heck does that have to do with anything I just asked about?

With an open mind and open heart, I let her continue as she began to shed one layer of awareness after another, with respect to my unhealthy relationship with loyalty.

After our 15-minute chat, I realized this about myself… I’ve always perceived my loyalty as a great and honorable quality. While being “loyal to a fault” sounds like I deserve a first place ribbon (and maybe even a really cool trophy of some kind), it’s actually not at all healthy nor beneficial.

So I did what most humans love to do… I took a quick survey of the past, playing a movie reel in my mind’s eye. Looking back, I realized all the times I felt hurt or held back from what I truly wanted because I chose to be loyal instead.

Now keep in mind, that my personal definition of loyal was not a healthy one. It meant I had to be willing to sacrifice the things that were important to me in order to show the other person that I had their back. Wow, I had sacrificed way too much, and all that I received in return was one brutal life lesson after another.

Obviously, if I noticed someone else doing what I did, I would have called them out on it and say “Dude, you’re being co-dependent, not loyal, so shut it down yo.” (Yes I really do speak like that in real life. I’m a 90s kid and I can’t let it go. Speaking of the 90s, did you see that awesome Saved By The Bell reunion video?!)

Back to my unhealthy relationship with loyalty…. The intuitive said she saw this thick rope attached to me. Not many, just one very large rope with several knots. Each knot representing a layer of awareness that I needed to realize and then release. This rope clearly represented my attachment to loyalty.

My aha moment — All of it was self-induced. The people, places, and things I was being loyal to never asked me to be loyal. So, the bad news is that I was the one who created this unnecessary attachment. The good news is that I have the power to let it go.

My strategy? A healthy combination of awareness, meditation, and the ever powerful tools most readily available yet hardly ever used…. drumroll please…. unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance. Bam! Yeah it really is that simple.

So I’ve got my work cut out for me this weekend as I’ll be peeling one layer after another, and “doing the work” as they say. My goal is not to cut that rope completely, but rather create some slack, as the wise intuitive advised. Loyalty is still a great quality, and I wouldn’t want to let that go, ever.

Cutting myself some slack will still give me the freedom to fly wherever I want and whenever I want while keeping me grounded. (As I wrote this last sentence, I heard geese flying by and squawking, which I will accept as a little nod of support from the Universe.)

And with that, I ask you, where are you holding yourself back and why? Contemplate that this weekend and be willing to notice the most honest wisdom within yourself. Notice how your original question for yourself will shed light on something that might be completely irrelevant at first, but as you meditate on it, it might just be the noteworthy wisdom you need to hear right now.

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Comedian, Author, and Podcaster [ @LenaAnani ]

Lena Anani is a comedy writer, self-help author, and podcast nerd. As a Second City trained comedian she loves to write jokes, perform improv, and produce shows. With her books on Amazon, she empowers readers everywhere to access their inner magic. You can also find her interviewing fellow authors from all over the world with her She Wrote A Book podcast. And she’s been featured on NBC, ABC, CBS, and FOX. Her obsessions include karaoke, her furbaby, and everything Disney.