The confidence I thought I didn’t need…

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Hello Friend,

Apparently when I deactivated my personal Facebook account about a month ago, I also inadvertently accepted an internal walkabout exploring my own inner strength. Oops! Didn’t see the fine print on that one!

Without the daily and constant “likes” and “comments” to validate my self-worth, I was thwarted into a journey of finding my self-confidence (wtf where did it go?). I was on a mission to find that raw, organic, and 100% pure confidence, plucked directly from the source. Not the store bought kind.

I knew I had to unpack the word confidence to fully embody it, and I started with its definition. So here’s what the word CONFIDENCE means:

Confidence is a noun that’s defined as the feeling or belief that one can rely on something or someone… or the state of feeling certain about the truth of something… or a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities. Some synonyms include: trust, belief, faith, credence, and conviction.

Ooph. I definitely felt disconnected from any sense of the word confidence for a solid two weeks before I dove right into the well of the brain food known as the Google to get some answers. #selfhelp #walkingthetalk #whyamihashtagging

And now… for your cerebral-consuming pleasure… here are the top 10 resources I found that helped me explore, understand, and embody the benefits of the word CONFIDENCE (drumroll, please):

1. “Confidence is just entitlement.” — Of course we must start with the comedy goddess known as Mindy Kahling who created her own destiny in entertainment. I stumbled upon an excerpt from her excellent book Why Not Me? (click here to buy the book) where she talks about her very own challenges and triumphs with confidence. Click here to read the excerpt.

2. “Confidence is a practice.” — I found an article by the Art of Charm guys about how to stay confident. It was written for dudes, but I thought the advice could easily benefit women, too. Nonetheless, my biggest takeaway from this article was the importance of creating good daily habits to feed and strengthen my confidence. Cool stuff. Click here to read the article.

3. “The actions of confidence come first, the feelings of confidence come later.” — I’m obsessed with Brian Johnson from This incredible guy makes a living out of creating powerful summaries (which he calls Philosopher’s Notes) from powerful books. This is where I’ve been spending most of my time, instead of social media. I enjoyed this quick video where he shares the 5 big takeaways from the book The Confidence Gap (click here to buy the book) by Dr. Russ Harris. Click here to watch the video.

4. “Confidere.” — Not a resource, per say, but a really cool tidbit. The etymology of the word confidence comes from latin word confidere, which means to “have full trust”.

5. “Confident people, regardless of their gender, tended to be more accurate.” — Wow, this cool article by Scott Barry Kaufman on a study about the connection between gender stereotypes and confidence was epic. Basically, the more confidence we have, the more of our brain we can access, and our problem solving abilities improve significantly, for both men and women. Huzzah! Click here to read the article.

6. “I have confidence in confidence alone.” — When I told my mom I was unpacking the word confidence, she began to sing her broken-english version of “I Have Confidence” from the Sound of Music. She didn’t sound anything like the talented Julie Andrews, but she had the confidence to sing it regardless, and for that I love her! Click here to listen to the song.

7. “If you’ve been feeling a little lack luster, Jupiter is talking to you.” — A friendly reminder from my favorite astrologers, Susan Gidel and Sandy Rueve. Jupiter is in retrograde this year from February 6 to June 9, and it has a tendency to affect our relationship with confidence. Whoa. Yeah. Cool, huh? So I scheduled an affordable Skype session with Susan and Sandy a couple of weeks ago to get my astrological confidence stuff sorted out, and got a healthy dose of clarity, as I always do with those two. I love them! Click here to schedule an astrology session.

8. “What’s wrong with being confident?” — Demi Lovato keeps it real with her song Confident. Reading the lyrics (click here to read lyrics) to this song reminds me how we live in a society that labels confident women for being complicated and crazy. Another lovely daily obstacle to overcome as a woman. Click here to watch the video.

9. “There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.” — Warning: self-plug coming up. That’s a quote from a short film I was in last year called Confidence & Arrogance. I got to play the villain, the arrogant one. OMG I loved playing that character! The film was screened at the historical Music Box Theatre in Chicago to a sold out crowd, and it look a whole lotta confidence to watch myself on a giant screen. I just realized that by looking back on that memory, it helped boost my confidence. Click here to see us on IMDB.

10. “Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.” — Thank you Tina Fey for reminding us that confidence is literally just a choice that we make. I found that quote hiding in a list of 57 other quotes by the best female comedians of all time. Fun fact: Even though I found this list on Thought Catalog via a Google search, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my very talented comedian friend Kim Quindlen was the author of the post! Kim definitely resonates with confidence. Watching her perform sketch and improv is inspiring! And her Bernie Sanders impression literally has me in stitches, but she already knows this. Click here to read the article.

So there you have it. I’ve done the work (and will continue to do the work because it never ends yo). I’ve shared the resources that helped me develop a healthy relationship with confidence, and I really hope it helps you too (if you need it, that is). I’ve successfully boosted my confidence on this journey, and have committed to enhancing my self-confidence for the rest of my life. I mean, if a career in “the business” is my destination, then confidence is going to be the vehicle that gets me there. Vroom vroom, bishes.

Be the voice you want to hear in the world…

PS: Did you know you can access the Mirror Mirror archives by clicking here? You’re welcome!


Let me know what you thought about this issue of Mirror Mirror. What kind of thoughts, opinions or confusion did it create for you? If you’d like to spark up a discussion, just shoot me an email at, say what you need to say, and let’s make it happen. I’d love to hear from you!


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I’m a comedy writer, self-help author, and podcast host. As a Second City trained comedian I love to write jokes, perform improv, and produce shows. With my books on Amazon, I empower readers everywhere to access their inner magic. You can also find me interviewing fellow authors from all over the world with my She Wrote A Book podcast. And I’ve been featured on NBC, ABC, CBS, and FOX. My obsessions include karaoke, my furbaby, and everything Disney.


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Comedian, Author, and Podcaster [ @LenaAnani ]

Lena Anani is a comedy writer, self-help author, and podcast nerd. As a Second City trained comedian she loves to write jokes, perform improv, and produce shows. With her books on Amazon, she empowers readers everywhere to access their inner magic. You can also find her interviewing fellow authors from all over the world with her She Wrote A Book podcast. And she’s been featured on NBC, ABC, CBS, and FOX. Her obsessions include karaoke, her furbaby, and everything Disney.