Typing away on my computer, I’m suddenly transported to a parallel universe where I secretly observe an alternate version of me. She is a cool, collected, and creative soul unafraid of rampant criticism. She’s dressed to the nines as she meets up for her hot date with her glowing laptop. Foreplay begins with a little steamy session of brainstorming ideas for her next blog post. She blushes as the screen in front of her mirrors back her sentiments. Her words flow onto the page with ease as if she had years of experience seducing delicious and sultry words. She is a confident woman who I admire from afar, as I recognize three very important things about my own relationship with writing.
1. Writing helps me develop a healthy relationship with myself.
It helps me forget about my insecurities, my shortcomings, and my anxiety. The world that is created between the writer and her page always starts with a clean slate. A world of imaginative information. And for a socially awkward introvert like me, writing is my sanctuary of self-celebration without the noise of negativity. There are no critics in my world of writing. Just me as I choose to foster an environment of encouragement for my true self to paint a mural with her words. Just me and my inner writer making waves. It’s probably the healthiest and longest relationship I’ve ever been in.
2. Writing helps me feel valued as a contributor to this world.
I honestly don’t know why I feel like I need to make the world a better place. I have my own inner drama to heal, but sometimes I like to pretend I’m perfect inside and out so I can focus on other people’s problems (I’m down with OPP). It’s almost as if I’ve tricked my inner critic to “shut up already” about me and look at everyone else. Then I decide I’m the ever so perfect example of human achievement, and begin to write from a place of manufactured enlightenment. Luckily, somehow, my message is received and translated by my audience into inspiration and motivation to do, be, and have what they want. Basically, my ego and my best self conspire together to help me get out of head and write from the heart, for the good of all humanity, but really just for me.
3. Writing helps me feel like a bonafide artist with some semblance of talent.
Hand me a canvas with paint and a brush, and I promise to create a mess you’ll wish you could forever unsee. Give me some clay and a chisel, and I’ll attempt to sculpt an intricate replica of the Chicago skyline and yet all you will see is a garden of penises. But put me in front of my laptop, and allow my fingers to move at the speed of light to quickly paint the glowing canvas before me with colorful words, and you’ll witness a work of art that’s guaranteed to make you smile, laugh, and sometimes cry. Words are my art. A dictionary of words is my equivalent of a palette of colors. Rainbows in print. Words make me smile, and they challenge me to create something new each time. My words can be abstract and I’ve learned to be okay with that.
You might be thinking “Lena, what the hell did you just make me read and why in the world did you write this?” Duh, I thought I made that clear in number 2 (and I don’t mean po po). I wanted to inspire you to reconnect with the part of you that wants to write, or create anything for that matter. And I wanted to challenge you to think about where you show up as an artist in the non-traditional sense, and what parts of you are the painter, the canvas, and the color. I wanted to reignite your relationship with your creative self. You know, rekindle the romance, spark the fire, bring back the sexy. Now, what will YOU do today to please your creative spirit?
Feel good and make magic…
<3 Lena Anani
PS: Be the voice you want to hear in the world. :)